Meeting #4

I feel like I've taken two steps backward with my participants, which is really disheartening because I felt like we really got somewhere in our last meeting. I had a lesson plan all worked out that was just as awesome as my previous one. Since one of the girls was missing, I wanted to give her a chance to experience a little of what we had done.

It was supposed to start at 4:00 and end at 6:30 because on of the girls had to go to a meeting for her church. As well prepared as I thought I was, the meeting didn't go anything like my plan. It went more like this: 

3:30 - Pick up one of the girls an hour before start because she couldn't get a ride over.

4:00 - Everyone is supposed to be showing up

4:23 - Facebook message from the other girl telling me that she's waiting on her ride but they are currently at the hospital with their grandma. 

4:30 - Everyone is supposed to be here, but only the one girl is. So I spend time going over with her what we did the week when she wasn't here and asking her questions and showing her the comment boards. 

5:20 - Still only 1 participant present. Other girl Facebook messages me, "Stevie what do you think i should do they still aren't here." Finally get ahold of the guy who is on his way but it would take too much time for him to pick up the other girl and at this point we only had a little over an hour. 

5:45 - He finally shows up. It's looking like the girl won't be able to make it so we work without her. I'm feeling really disappointed now, he's exhausted because he had been working so much and had to go to an all-night shift right after the meeting, and the other girl is worried about making it to her meeting. 

Basically, all we were able to do is talk. We talked about the more positive outsider perspectives of Camden. I asked if they thought anyone from the comments actually understood Camden. We attempted to talk about the play, the ideas I'd thought of, the ideas they had thought of, who our characters could be, the plot, the conflict, etc., but we weren't able to nail anything down. 

We ended and I feel like I am a big failure and the whole thing was a waste of time. I am frustrated at all the time wasted because they were so late. I feel guilty for feeling frustrated with them for things that are out of their control (like broken cell phones, lack of access to other communication technology, transportation, crazy work schedules, etc). I feel angry at myself for not being a better leader and really motivating them and I feel stupid for having relied so heavily on such a small group of participants. I think they are all really great people, but there are just so many barriers and such a short amount of time left to try to break through all of them. I'm running low on ideas and faith.